Questions to Get Your Child Communicating About Upcoming College Life
As summer rolls in, some parents are gearing for one of the biggest changes in their – and their children’s – lives: college. Many years ago a friend of mine prepared to head to college. Always adventurous and fun loving, he stopped by one day and, much to my surprise, began to cry. This gregarious guy was terrified of leaving for college. He didn’t want his life to change, he didn’t know anyone else going to his college of choice, and he was terrified of the enormous life's changes quickly approaching.
While our children may appear – and may actually be – very excited about flying the coop and embarking on their next journey, many are, at the same time, scared. Harlan Cohen, a nationally syndicated advice columnist, finds his inbox flooded with letters just before summer each year, and their content revolves around students sharing their fears and anxieties about moving on to college. And sadly, not all of these soon to be college students share their fears with their parents.
Author of the bestselling college guide The Naked Roomate and the parent college guide The Happiest Kid on Campus, Harlan says parents should spend this summer communicating with their children about some of the big life changes ahead. Several questions to get you talking include:
- How do you plan on making this happen? “Try to get your son or daughter thinking about the activities, organizations, and opportunities available outside the classroom that help make them find connections to campus life,” suggests Harlan. For instance, clubs, sports, and volunteer opportunities on the campus offer additional ways for your children to make friends and find something they enjoy doing while away at school. Considering these beforehand will give your child time to make plans to join once he settles into his new space.
- Who are the people on campus that can help? Brainstorm five people on a college campus to whom your child can turn for advice when needed. These might include a financial counselor, guidance counselor, and teacher. Make sure these are people who want your child to win. Knowing who they are prior to leaving home will make your child feel more confident when problems arise.
- How much time are you going to give yourself to make it ALL happen? “Plant the seed that it can take a couple of years – not weeks or months – to make it happen,” says Harlan. Help your child set a realistic timeline so they will not be set up for disappointment.
- What can I do to help? Asking this questions let your child know that you are willing to help but that you don’t assume they will need your help. And after asking this questions, Harlan says, “Then go make plans to send lots of care packages!”
