How To Prevent Professional Failures From Turning Into Personal Disasters

By Harman Bajwa

There’s a quote from Mario Puzo’s The Godfather: "Tom, don't let anybody kid you. It's all personal, every bit of business. Every piece of s**t every man has to eat every day of his life is personal. They call it business. OK. But it's personal as hell...”

Ladies and gentlemen, with every fiber of my being I believe in those lines, and those who deny it, lie! When I first heard them, my professional journey had only just begun, and failure seemed close at hand. Failures have a convoluted way of getting the better of us. No matter how hard we try to sell the pep talk to ourselves, it eventually wears thin.

It’s personal, but you can still maintain a distance

I’ll share the example of my first employer, a man of true grit. Two of his initial entrepreneurial ventures failed within two years, back in the seventies. The first time, a couple of friends bailed him out. But the second time was worse: more than the capital, he’d lost the trust of people. At age 25, with two major debacles behind him, he was running out of steam.

So what did he do? He had a habit of penning down his thoughts and observations; every time he went through a sleepless night he wrote down his frustrations. In his mind, he knew that everything that had been troubling him was getting safely documented, so contemplating on it could wait. This worked as a catharsis for him. It helped him empty his brains and keep a mental distance from his disappointments.

For the next three years, he worked at a job. After that he mustered up enough courage to start a new business venture.

Don’t trust your gut—it’s a trap, an easy fix to calm your senses

I feel entrepreneurs should be given a rite of passage to make them aware of some essential mores of entrepreneurial life, because major business decisions simply can’t be based on pure gut. It’s not derby bidding for God's sake!

I know there’s been a lot of fuss about basing your decisions on gut feelings, but I can give you an equal number of cases that have suffered because of it. Entrepreneurship isn’t about moving in one direction; it offers you opportunities to steer your enterprise in any course.

People will advise you (especially if you’re young) of the rights and wrongs of your decisions, what’s profitable, what will work in the long run, etc. However, this is what I’ve learned about making big decisions:

• Listen to every point of view, including what your gut says.
• Spend some time to contemplate (alone or with a trusted ally).
• Segregate your analysis from your instincts, doubts, and wishful thinking.
• Listen to the data, statistics, results, numbers (they are least susceptible to ambiguity).
• Listen to your long-term goals; does your decision comply with them?
• What gains and losses emerge out of this decision?

Being misunderstood by others is okay, but don’t misunderstand yourself

What do you think Oprah Winfrey must have gone through when she was told early in her career she wasn’t suitable for television and was demoted from a TV anchor’s position? Or when Arianna Huffington faced 36 rejections to her second book, despite a well-received first book?

Don’t let a dry spell in your career get the better of you. People pass judgments on other people all the time. In my career, I have realized the more I revisit my wounds, the more I suffer.

You don’t need to forget your failures, because YOU CAN’T. But moving on is important. Immerse yourself in something that you like -- something that keeps you going, makes you happy, it can be a hobby. Go ahead and find a cure, but don’t misunderstand yourself.

Fail gloriously—failure is a one-way ticket to come out wiser

Fail gloriously, fail like no one’s watching, make every mistake there is, so you don’t make them again. Let others call you stupid — at least you had the gumption to do what you dreamed of. Don’t let failure define you any more than a leader who botched up. It was a failure of your judgement, not your ability.

Once the storm blows over, think through what went wrong. What action/decision could have saved the disaster. Ask yourself:

• Was your business model survival driven (focusing on wealth rather than adding value)?
• Did you pay enough attention to what your customers were saying?
• Was your USP really a USP?
• Did your business have enough scope to adapt to the changing market?
• Were you tracking your efforts?
• What role could management have played in averting the disaster?

Apart from preventing further disasters, failures give us a fresh perspective and tell us what aspects of our business can’t be ignored.

Final thoughts

Today I have a solid team, an enviable clientele, and have found a niche in a cluttered market space. Wherever I go, I say it with utmost conviction that business for me has always been personal -- even a game of basketball in school was personal.

While success makes you happy, failure is bound to make you sad and affect you on a personal level. Before a mismanaged failure scars you for life, think of it as a puzzle that you might not be able to solve today, but you'll have a chance to get right tomorrow!