Leveraging The Six Degrees of Separation

Last time, I discussed the concept of “The Six Degrees of

Separation”.  No matter how you view it,

we are each only six people on average away from anyone we want to meet at any

time.  That’s great news!  And, as with most concepts, the power lies

not only in knowing about it but in leveraging it successfully. 

someone you want to know, keep in mind that thriving networkers are keenly

self-aware.  Many things drive a person

to be this way, including a desire for integrity in all dealings.  Ultimately, success in leveraging The Six Degrees

is not possible without self-knowledge. 

I am not saying you won’t be able to network without it, but your

perception of how well you are relating to someone vs. the reality of what others

are really thinking about you will

often be incongruent. 

ability to leverage.  Two of the most

important ones are:

1.  “Usual Style” and “Needs”
2. True intentions

   for giving and receiving

I will cover facet #1 above this time.  In a future edition, I will write about your

true intentions related to giving and receiving. 

in direct proportion to the degree to which our inner needs are met.  Fifty years ago, Birkman International

developed an extraordinary assessment tool called The Birkman Method.  The tool reveals what Birkman calls “Usual

Style” and “Needs”.  Being aware of yours

can make or break your attempts to leverage The Six Degrees concept

successfully and with integrity. 

non-negotiable aspects that must be met one way or another in order for you to stay

in your positive Usual Style.

first degree contact of yours, has introduced you to someone in their network

named Sally.  Your Usual Style is candid

and forthright.  In the course of

conversing with Sally, you notice that she is crossing her arms and the

dialogue has become stilted.  Little did

you know that Sally, like 75% of the

population, has a high inner need for respect, rather than candor!  At the end of the meeting (if you get that

far!) she smiles and shakes your hand but since her needs were not met, she is

thinking, “I will never do business with that person!”  Since she smiled and shook your hand firmly,

you decide that things were alright after all, so you write to set up a second

meeting.  Sally will not return your

calls or emails.  You cannot figure out why.  Not only that, Joe is now doubting his

judgment in making this introduction for you!  

Style is impacting others!  Luckily,

there is!  It is a course correcting

strategy called “Style Flexing”.  It is easy to apply and can make

all the difference in the outcome of your meetings and leveraging

strategies! 

Next time: Style

flexing, the networker’s lifesaver!