How to Get Fired Gracefully—And Why You Always Should

Even though being terminated from your job can be a highly emotional experience, letting your emotions overwhelm you and saying or doing the wrong thing can have lasting negative repercussions on your career. If your reaction is hostile, or if your response consists of insults, threats, cries of injustice or the silent treatment, you may feel better for a short time, but will soon regret your lack of professionalism.

This holds true even when a hostile reaction is warranted. All too often employers botch terminations by failing to lay the proper groundwork and/or failing to provide an adequate explanation. Nevertheless, the only person who gets hurt by screaming and yelling is you. That's why you should know how to get fired gracefully.

Why it's best to leave on good terms

Here are some reasons why you should be on your best behavior when you're fired--reasons that are easily forgotten when you’re in the midst of being fired.

• Reference checking. When you’re applying for a new job, your prospective employer will want to talk to your previous employer. Whatever that previous employer says about you carries a lot of weight. If you left on good terms, you may get an endorsement. In fact, your old company may be eager to help you get situated in a new position because you made it easy on them when you left.
• Industry reputation. Most industries are like small towns or big families: lots of gossip and few secrets. If you flamed out while getting fired--justified or not--people are liable to label you as a hothead, someone who is hard to manage. That’s not going to help you secure a new job or advance in your career once you do.
• Referrals. If you leave on bad terms, your old employer will never want to hear from you again. On the other hand, a professional parting keeps the lines of communication open. Put yourself in a position to ask coworkers or superiors for job leads. Referrals are the best way to find a great job, and people you’ve worked with can point you in the right direction … if they’re motivated to do so.
• Severance. Verbally assaulting your boss won’t inspire him or her to give you an extra week’s severance pay or make some other accommodation to help you through your transition. Keeping your cool may take the heat off finding a new job. It’s certainly to your advantage to be financially able to wait for the right job rather than grab the first job offer you get.
• Returning. Circumstances are constantly changing within an organization. The company that just fired you could become a perfect fit, even in a matter of months. If you left carnage in your wake, you will close that door forever.

© Brad Shorr

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How to get fired gracefully

Here are tips for getting fired like a pro:

• Don’t take it personally. This is hard to do because being fired is personal. But this situation calls for detachment. The person on the other side of the table is dreading an emotional outburst. If your response is calm, cool, and collected, that person will be relieved. You will have given yourself the best chance to make the best of a very bad situation.
• Don’t argue. Even if you are able to talk your employer out of firing you -- which is highly unlikely -- you’ll be walking on eggshells every day for as long as you work there.
• Don’t beg. Remember: It’s not being fired that takes away our dignity, it’s how we respond. Remember Shelley Levene (Jack Lemmon) in Glengarry Glen Ross? Nobody wants to be that guy.
• Ask for specifics and get them in writing. You are entitled to a coherent explanation of why you are being fired. It is professional to press your employer for details, and to get the details (along with details of your severance package) in writing. Being able to show a prospective employer the reason for your termination could be quite helpful.
• Check with your attorney before signing anything. If your termination involves a non-compete agreement, confidentiality agreement, or another type of separation agreement, review it carefully with a reputable labor attorney knowledgeable about the laws in your state. These documents have enormous impact on your career, are often negotiable, and may not be legal or enforceable as written.
• Ask for help. This is the time to ask for things you need in a severance package. Beyond that, appropriate questions may include:
  • Do you know any firms that might be interested in hiring someone with my skills?
  • Is it OK for me to list you as a reference? What kind of recommendation would you give me if I listed you?
  • What things can I do to improve my skills and abilities?
• Express gratitude. Saying things like “Thanks for the opportunity,” “Thanks for sticking with me as long as you did,” or “Thanks for the help you’re going to give me through my transition” just confirm your professionalism. Employers have long memories about statements like these--or when they are absent.

Terminations are never pleasant, and following all of this advice won’t make you feel better, at least initially. You just have to remember that plenty of successful people, rock stars in their fields, were once fired for a good reason, a bad reason, or no reason at all. If they overcame adversity, so can you! It’s much easier to do when you’re prepared and professional.

FAQs on getting fired gracefully

Below we have summarized the most important questions and answers on the subject.

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