How to Build a Great Relationship With a Mentor

Maintain Ongoing Communication

"Building strong relationships with business mentors or sponsors requires more than just seeking advice—it's about creating a mutually beneficial, value-driven partnership. One method I've found effective is maintaining ongoing communication and keeping mentors informed about my progress, challenges, and how their advice has influenced my journey. Regular updates show I respect their time and insights, and I give them a chance to see the tangible impact of their mentorship. It's not about constantly asking for new guidance, but demonstrating my commitment to applying what I've learned.

"Expressing gratitude is also key. I make it a point to thank my mentors for their time and input, which fosters a trusting and lasting relationship. When mentors see that their advice makes a difference, it strengthens the bond and reinforces the mutual respect essential for a solid mentorship.

"I recommend approaching the process with intention and clarity for those seeking mentorship. It's not just about asking for advice—think about what you can learn from the mentor and how you can contribute in return. Many mentors appreciate having someone who values their guidance and shows initiative by offering support or fresh perspectives. A strong mentor-mentee relationship is collaborative, with both parties actively engaged.

"Be specific in your requests. Instead of vague questions like, "Can you mentor me?" frame your request with focus: "I'm facing a challenge in scaling operations and would love to hear your thoughts on how you approached this." This shows you've done your homework and are seeking targeted advice. It also helps the mentor provide guidance more effectively.

"Additionally, I respect their time. Mentors often have busy schedules, so patience and understanding are crucial when they can't always respond immediately. Demonstrating that you value their time and are willing to act on their advice will make the relationship more productive."
—April Eldridge, April Eldridge Consulting

Do the Work Before Asking

"When I started practicing family law over 30 years ago, I had to teach myself much of what I know today about running my firm, and consequently, had a lot of questions along the way. I made sure that whenever I approached someone for advice or mentorship, I had already done the groundwork—whether it was researching the topic, analyzing relevant case law, or attempting to solve the issue on my own. This demonstrated that I valued their time and wasn't looking for easy answers but genuine guidance.

"My advice to anyone seeking mentorship is simple: Do the work before you ask the question. Avoid asking something so basic it could have been answered with minimal effort on your part. When you come with a well-thought-out, specific question that shows you've tried to figure it out yourself, it's much more likely to lead to a productive and meaningful conversation. Mentors are more willing to invest in someone who shows initiative and respect for the effort it takes to succeed."
—Andrew Feldstein, Feldstein Family Law Group

Utilize Micro-Mentorship Opportunities

"I have found it very effective to build strong relationships with business mentors or sponsors through micro-mentorship opportunities. These can be one-time meetings, mentorship programs, or even informal coffee chats where you can pick the brains of a successful individual in your field.

"In my opinion, not every mentorship needs to be long-term. Reach out to professionals for short, targeted conversations about specific challenges or areas of growth. These micro-mentorships often evolve into more lasting relationships as trust and rapport are built.

"My other advice is to offer value in return for your mentor's time and expertise. This could be assistance on a project they are working on, introducing them to contacts in your network, or simply showing genuine appreciation for their guidance. This way, the relationship becomes mutually beneficial and sustainable in the long run."
—Max Avery, Digital Family Office

Engage in Active Listening

"I believe that engaging in active listening is one of the most powerful ways to build strong relationships with mentors and sponsors. When you truly listen, you show respect and appreciation for their time and insights. It's not just about hearing their words; it's about understanding their perspective, asking thoughtful questions, and reflecting on their advice. I always make sure to take notes during our conversations and follow up later to share how I've applied their suggestions. This helps them see that I value their input and am committed to learning.

"Another piece of advice I'd give to someone seeking mentorship is to approach the relationship with humility and a willingness to learn. Don't just seek answers, show curiosity and ask for their perspective on challenges or opportunities. Also, make sure to follow through on the advice they give you and share the outcomes. Mentors want to feel like their guidance is making a difference. Lastly, always be genuine and appreciative. Simple things like saying 'thank you' or updating them on your progress go a long way toward strengthening the relationship."
—Carl Jacobs, Apicbase

Know Your Goal

"The most important way to find and build relationships with potential mentors is to know your goal. Approach experts in your field with specific questions. This suggests that you already have some knowledge and understanding of business processes but have encountered problems that require advice from more experienced colleagues. The right questions will spark a meaningful conversation that can develop into ongoing mentoring.

"Don't be afraid to write, actively promote your LinkedIn, and make connections with different experts. Be proactive. At the beginning of my career, I actively attended forums and talks to find like-minded people and prove myself without waiting for someone to pay attention to me and offer help. If you want to get useful advice, remember the value of your business and its potential."
—Valentin Honcharov, Claspo

Find Common Ground

"Few things are more powerful than strong relationships in the business world, offline or online. When building such relationships with mentors or sponsors, there needs to be common ground to make it genuine and mutually beneficial.

"A helpful tip is to be curious and approach mentors looking to understand their scope of expertise before committing. It won't hurt to do half the work and research their backgrounds and achievements before reaching out. This allows you to see if their experience and goals align with yours. Before contacting them, state your questions, refine them, and better frame them to highlight your reasons for wanting to connect with a potential mentor. It showcases your respect and willingness to learn.

"One vital ingredient for relationship-building is respect, consistency, and the ability to act on advice. Connect to show your commitment through progress and show gratitude for their role in helping you. Small actions will fortify the relationship and show that their guidance is everything!

"Be conscious when seeking an expert. Don't settle for any expert in your field when you can find someone whose values and perspectives align with yours. As a mentee, you should be ready to express what you want to learn and be willing to apply their advice, as mentorship is a two-way process."
—Kohin Bellara, D'Genius Solutions

Lead with Genuine Curiosity

"One method I've found effective for building strong relationships with business mentors or sponsors is to lead with genuine value and curiosity. Instead of starting with a direct request for mentorship, I focus on building a rapport by engaging with their work—whether that means reading their articles, listening to their talks, or following their projects and offering thoughtful feedback or asking insightful questions. This approach shows I respect their time and have a sincere interest in their expertise.

"For example, I might reach out to comment on a specific idea they shared and how it has impacted my thinking or work. From there, I continue to build the relationship by finding small ways to provide value, like sharing relevant resources or offering assistance with something aligned with their interests. Over time, this mutual exchange builds trust and naturally evolves into a mentorship or sponsorship dynamic.

"My advice to someone seeking mentorship is to be intentional and specific. Instead of asking, "Will you be my mentor?" which can feel vague or overwhelming, approach them with clear, focused questions or requests for guidance on specific challenges. Respect their time, follow through on their advice, and express gratitude for their support. Strong mentorship relationships are built on authenticity, mutual respect, and a willingness to learn and give back.

"Lastly, don't be discouraged if your first attempts don't yield immediate results. Mentorship is about building a genuine connection over time, not a transactional ask. Keep showing up, seeking to learn, and adding value wherever you can."
—Ford Coleman, Runway

Be Clear About Your Goals

"As a mentor, I think the most effective thing a mentee can do is to be clear from the start about what they are trying to achieve. A good mentor is there to help their mentee get from A to B with more linearity and less circularity. However, you can't select the right mentor until you know what that destination looks like.

"For everyone in the mentoring relationship to see success and to feel successful in their role they need to come together for that journey. And even if the destination is a little fuzzy at first, everyone benefits from knowing roughly where they are going. Maybe they know they want to go north, but they've not yet worked out that they are going to Fenway for a ballgame.

"When I reflect on the most successful mentor sessions I've hosted, we've been clear about the destination from the start, while allowing for pivots along the way. We've then copied and pasted my experience of similar journeys to similar destinations and used that to jump-start the mentoring process. Then we can spend the more difficult sessions working out how to leverage, or ignore, that experience for the mentee.

"A good summary of the process might be: 'A good question brings a good answer.'"
—Stewart Noakes, Canopy Community

Build Organic Mentorship Connections

"The most effective and long-running mentorship connections in my working life have rarely been made during scheduled official meetings. They have occurred in an organic manner and in human moments—like while grabbing coffee after an event or having a candid chat over lunch at a conference. I remember meeting an incredible mentor at a panel discussion in a different city. We started talking over lunch, and what stood out was how natural the conversation felt—no agendas, just two people exchanging ideas and opinions.

"No matter how great the connection is, remember that mentors are busy. Don't just assume their time is yours. When I followed up with this person, I kept my ask specific. I offered flexible meeting times. Show respect for your mentor's schedule and appreciate their time, be punctual, and show up for these meet-ups, whether virtual or in real life."
—Christian Hed, Dstny

Treat Mentorship as Value Exchange

"Building strong relationships with a mentor or sponsor hinges on intentionality and authenticity. One method I've found effective is treating mentorship as a value exchange rather than a one-sided request for guidance.

"I focus on identifying mentors who align not only with my career goals but also with my values and working style. Once a connection is established, I make an effort to understand their challenges, priorities, and successes. For example, when meeting with mentors, I come prepared with specific questions and insights tailored to their expertise. I also actively look for ways to contribute to their goals, whether by sharing relevant articles, making introductions within my network, or assisting on small projects. Offering value creates a foundation for a mutually beneficial relationship.

"Working remotely has emphasized the importance of leveraging digital tools to nurture these connections. Regular check-ins via Zoom or LinkedIn, thoughtful messages, and celebrating milestones help keep the relationship strong, even at a distance. I also ensure that my mentors feel valued as individuals, not just as sources of advice. Support is a two-way street; showing up for people and tending to the relationship, much like watering a garden, is crucial.

"For those seeking mentorship or sponsors in their field, be intentional in your outreach. Research potential mentors thoroughly to ensure alignment with your aspirations. When approaching them, clearly articulate why you value their perspective, what you hope to learn, and how you intend to contribute to the relationship.

"Adopt a growth mindset while expanding your network. Be open to feedback, even when it's challenging, and actively apply the advice you receive. Mentors are more likely to invest in someone who demonstrates a genuine willingness to learn and grow. Strong relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and a shared commitment to development. When approached thoughtfully and with reciprocity, these connections can be transformative for both parties."
—Kathryn MacKenzie, Preceptor Business Solutions