For Better or Worse: Being the Spouse of a Small Business Owner
Running your own business is hard, but not just for you. It’s rough on the whole family. Your business not only sleeps in your bed with you, but it hogs most of the blankets.
Running a business is like driving a car on a winding mountain road. While it may be tough for you, the passengers get car sick. This is especially true of your spouse who is in the back seat turned around and blindfolded. If you can’t see where your business is going, they have no idea what’s going on!
For the last 20 years, I have run three different businesses with a great degree of failure and success. In each one of them, I would come home from work and my wife would kindly ask: "How was your day, honey?" I never could to tell her. I didn’t want to relive all the ups and downs of that day. I learned later on to share the burden of the bad times and celebrate the victories with her. My spouse, Sara, says she stuck with me during my most difficult times, but sometimes against her better judgment.
Manish Patel, CEO of Anaheim, CA based Where2GetIt, says he has caused his spouse, Dolly, plenty of mental anguish. "The line between our business lives and personal lives was not just blurred. It was obliterated." Manish credits his wife with a tremendous amount of support and understanding in staying the course during those tough periods. He added: "The entrepreneur’s spouse is hidden in the shadows, toiling away and keeping things held together and never quite getting the credit or recognition she deserves."
Jeff Richmond is an engineer who became an entrepreneur when he started Northbrook, Ill.-based PumpBiz. His spouse, Mary Beth, a physician, says she always envisioned a successful businessman talking about his wife at their 25th wedding anniversary proudly boasting: “…and how can I ever thank my wife who has been at my side every step of the way and has never for one minute doubted me or lost faith in me or failed to support me during all the ups and downs.”
Mary Beth hits the “fast-forward” button to her future 25th wedding anniversary and confesses: "Jeff can never say that about me … because I have had my doubts, I have lost my faith at times (not in him but in his endeavor) and I have failed to show unfailing support many times. There have been oh too many times when I’ve showed him all my doubts, insecurities and yes even gotten plenty upset with him for taking this road."
What are the best ways to build your business and keep your family sanity?
1. Let your spouse in on most of the business secrets. You don’t need to tell them every detail, but make them feel included. Not knowing is worse than knowing something.
2. Share your day. Tell the good parts and the bad parts. This will enable you to let go and wake up to new opportunities tomorrow.
3. Celebrate your victories. There is nothing like family support to mark these moments or to let them go.
Building your own business is truly a family affair. Share the setbacks and victories with your family when you can. They will provide support for you during the good and bad times. Remember they promised: For better or worse!
Barry Moltz gets business owners growing again by unlocking their long forgotten potential. With decades of entrepreneurial experience, Barry has discovered the formula to get business owners unstuck marching forward. Visit him at www.barrymoltz.com
