False Assumptions Are Dangerous When Negotiating
When it comes to the art of negotiating, false assumptions are as dangerous as having unchecked emotions and overly high or low expectations. Most people in this business come to feel that they are fairly adept at scrutinizing other people and understanding their real feelings and thoughts before they even express them. But much of the time, our “readings” are based on our own assumptions, not on true insight, as we are inclined to believe. These wrongful assumptions work against us most of the time as negotiators. Once in a while, assumptions can work for us, but we have to use them correctly. More about that in a minute.
First, Don’t Assume Anything
Negotiators, specifically, take pride in their people skills. Frequently, before a negotiation, you hear presumptuous statements such as:
"I know just what they'll say if we make that offer."
"That’s the way these people operate."
"Lift the price, and they'll demand a bulk discount."
"I'm fairly certain she wears the boss’s hat over there."
"No way they’re gonna make a firm offer today."
Unfortunately, carrying a loaded assumption into the negotiation room is setting yourself up for a mental ambush. Chances are you are wrong, at least partly, and how many can turn on a dime under pressure? One of the most obvious ways assumptions can burn you is when you go into a meeting assuming it’s for one reason, only to discover that you were supposed to be there for a completely different reason—then you're caught unprepared.
Common assumptions based on economic status, life experience, schooling, fashion, or even the kind of vehicle your respected opponent drives will come back to bite you again and again. Those with years of business experience will recall at least one incident when they didn't bother phoning a prospective client because they assumed that a deal with this person would never work out, only to come to find that they may have missed a fantastic opportunity.
Two Ways to Kick the Assumptions Habit
Two great ways to rid ourselves of faulty assumptions is through diligent research and astute questioning. A word of caution about research: When you do research, be sure you do enough research. As Alexander Pope said, apparently prescient regarding the internet, “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.”
The internet connects us to the world, but who’s version of the world? How many of us just log onto a respected opponent’s website, glance at their site, and think we've done diligent research? In fact, how can we assume that everything on that website is correct? How many of us take the time to find out who our opponents really are, what parties they’ve negotiated with, and what they stand for? How many undertake the due diligence required?
Research is an art in itself and a key to kicking the assumptions habit. Once your research is impeccable, you'll be able to go to the mat with the strongest opponent, loaded with more info, ammo, and resources than you know what to do with.
Another way to kick the assumptions habit is to ask perceptive and penetrating questions frequently during the negotiation process. It is better than just studying data, because the manner in which your opponent responds to your questions will reveal more information than a glossy piece of advertising or factual news story or financial report can provide.
Asking questions is part of creating a vision, a vision of how your proposal, and the outstanding solutions you offer, are solutions for the problems your respected opponent faces now. His goals and objectives, and even his pain, are factors that shape that vision. To find out what those challenges are, you need to ask interrogative questions, ones that cannot be addressed with a short yes or no answer. To create that vision together, you must make inquiries into what, how, why, where, and when.
Never just assume what your opponent might need. Find out. Instead of being blinded by what you think you know already, open your eyes and become profoundly enlightened by what your respected opponent has to say about himself.
Assumptions to Use in Your Toolkit
Just as assumptions can work against us, they can also work for us, if we know how to use them. Why not plant assumptions in the minds of the other parties? When asked how much your widget costs, you answer, "It's expensive." This word means something rather different to a millionaire than to a guy earning thirty grand. Each one assumes that you mean what he would. In fact, people—including negotiators—make offers higher than you ever dreamed they would because of such false assumptions.
Here is another example of how to use the other party's assumptions against them.
They ask: "When will it be finished?"
You answer: "Soon."
In this context, "soon" can mean anything you want it to. Any time another party tells you "soon," it is up to you to discover what that means. The best way to find out is to ask. But when you say the word "soon," you can take advantage of the fact that the other side doesn't find out, at least for a while. Although our assumptions may work against us, their assumptions can work for us.
When it’s time for you to report to your next negotiation session—no matter if it’s an email or a phone call or a face-to-face meeting in which you have an agenda of some sort—try to liberate your mind from all assumptions. Observe how cultivating an unassuming mind helps you listen more attentively and open up to what's actually happening in the moment—as opposed to what you thought would happen. It's a great mindset to cultivate and practice.
