Can't We All Just Get Along?

Do you ever feel trampled? Every day? Once a week? Sometimes? If we feel trampled too often we may give up. Plus, in some cases, when we get trampled on at work we're giving others a message that says, hey, I'm your target. But why? According to Tim Irwin, author of Run With the Bulls, one of the reasons we feel and get trampled is because we can't get along with others. I don't know about you, but I certainly grew up with that mantra: Get along, everyone. It sure does make things easier for the ones in charge, right? Of course it's not always so easy. You know those times when the jerk in the group is holding everyone hostage with his or her antics, leaving people rolling their eyes, wondering how the heck this person has lasted?
We can be the jerk in the office sometimes, too, though, right? Sometimes we're the jerk because we refuse to get along with others. Sometimes getting along with others seems like a huge effort. Sometimes we just want to be left alone to do our work. Sometimes working with others takes time, but in the long run, getting along with our colleagues has some wonderful benefits the least of which is a little thing called job security (of course that's a relative term, but still).
Irwin says this about getting along with others: "How well you work with others determines how effectively you perform in the workplace. Competence spans not only the accomplishment of the task but also how you collaborate with others in the accomplishment of that task." In other words, just because you can get things done doesn't mean that people want to be around you.
So why can't we all get along anyway? In some cases, it's a matter of trust; people don't trust others to get things done as well as they can. Or getting along with others feels too much like the boy or girl scouts, not that I have anything against scouting. But some people simply don't like to join. Also, and this is something that Irwin articulates beautifully, people don't always want to work with those whom they deem inferior in some way. That sounds a little harsh, I know. Here's how Irwin puts it: "We are working around our own imperfections and dealing with the imperfections of others. While they may not be as physically obvious as Mark's, they're just as profound—if not more so—in their impact on our behavior. Fundamentally, working with others is rooted in the trust of imperfect people."