Asking Smart Questions When Negotiating
Questions can make or break a negotiation—and yet they're undervalued and overlooked by most negotiators. Do we think about our questions ahead of time? Are they carefully crafted to produce useful answers? In my experience, most negotiators just wing it. They don't understand the value of good questions, ask good questions, or know how to listen to the answers. As a result, they don't accomplish what they can and should when negotiating.
The good news is that you will already be better with your questions three minutes from now, when you've finished this article. Take to heart the principles I lay out here, work with them, practice, use the results in your negotiations, and you will see a dramatic difference in your outcomes.
Questions That Intimidate
Think of the standard courtroom grilling you've seen on TV. The D.A. bores in with the questions: "Isn't it true, Mr. Smithers, that you bought a Smith & Wesson in June 2011? Isn't it true that on the night in question you climbed out the window and….?"
The point of these questions is to intimidate, to throw the witness on the defensive and hope for a Perry Mason–style breakdown and confession right on the stand.
Salespeople have been trained to use this technique too, when they ask questions such as: "Is there any reason you wouldn't buy this sofa?" or "Can you say yes to my offer?"
An intimidating question like either of these serves one immediate, damaging purpose: It throws the person on the defensive. By driving the customer to a "yes" answer, you're trying to close the deal and collect the cash. But all you'll do is blow the deal. What do you do when asked such a question? You wince. You look for the trick.
Questions That Build Vision
What's the difference between a question that will build vision and a bad question that will kill vision? There are two types of questions, verb-led questions and interrogative-led questions, and you want to use the latter.
Recall the bad questions from above: "Is there any reason you wouldn't buy this sofa?" "Can you say yes to my offer?" These are led by a verb, and the key problem with verb-led questions is that they can be easily interpreted as threatening. Other examples of bad questions are: "Is this what you want?" "Will you have authority to do this?" "Do you have five minutes to see me?"
None of those questions stand a very good chance of building vision in the other party of why they're negotiating and of the value you bring to the table.
So what are the best questions that build vision? The answer is: questions that are led by interrogatives. Who, what, when, where, why, how, and sometimes which. We use interrogatives to gain entrance into what the folks on the other side are seeing in this negotiation.
The interrogative-led questions will paint vision that will move the negotiation forward without the pitfalls of verb-led questions. Consider the following set of verb-led questions juxtaposed with a corresponding set of interrogative-led questions. In every case, which is better?
"Is this the biggest issue we face?" versus "What is the biggest issue we face?"
"Is this proposal tight enough for you?" versus "How can I tighten this proposal for you?"
"Can we work on delivery dates tomorrow?" versus "When can we work on delivery dates?" or "How important are delivery dates?" or "Where do delivery dates fit in?"
"Do you think we should bring Mary into the loop now?" versus "Where does Mary fit in?" or "When should we bring Mary into the loop?" or "How does Mary fit into the picture?"
"Are you trying to make me angry?" versus "How do you want me to take that?"
Good Questions Open Doors
Open-ended, completely nonthreatening questions are the ones that have the best chance of keeping everyone relaxed, of opening the doors, of building vision.
Asking good questions is not rocket science. Generally speaking, the negotiator who asks interrogative-led questions will be on the right track and will have better success negotiating.
