Tips for Stopping Conflict in the Workplace
Someone stomps away from the break room, irate because another employee questioned his handling of a customer. A salesperson is furious when passed over for a large promotion. Since workplace conflict can take up to 40% of a manager’s time during the workday, it’s important good managers learn how to deal with situations as they arise. And it is imperative in a small business that conflicts are handled quickly. A small company of five or six employees can’t survive if half of its staff constantly fueds like the Hatfields and McCoys.
Steven Dinkin, president of the National Conflict Resolution Center, says understanding how to broach topics in a way that leads to improved working relationships is key to reducing conflicts and increasing productivity in the workplace.
"Disagreements, disputes, and honest differences are normal in any workplace,"says Dinkin, coauthor with Barbara Filner and Lisa Maxwell of The Exchange: A Bold and Proven Approach to Resolving Workplace Conflict. "When these normal occurrences are treated as opportunities for exploring new ideas about projects, they can become catalyst for increased energy and productivity. Getting to that place stars with an honest discussion."
Designed by mediators for managers, The Exchange program utilizes a four-stage process to encourage discussion of disputes in a productive way. Dinkin says the difference between a manager and mediator is that managers are not expected to be neutral. "They have the responsibility of reinforcing the interests of the department and the company for which they work." For this reason, The Exchange teaches managers the skills needed to express the needs of the company.
How can you resolve the conflicts in your workplace?
Start with an icebreaker. Most unhappy people will enter a meeting about conflict ready to battle with swords drawn. If you begin with the topic of controversy, says Dinkin, they will defend their position and attack their opponent.
The Exchange teaches to always start with an icebreaker. "An ideal icebreaker asks for a person’s own take on something that’s both work-related and positive. For example, if the conflict involves two employees involved in the same project, you might break the ice by asking each of them how they became involved in the project and what they hope to achieve."
Listen. Often the best resolutions come from listening to what the person has to say. "Ask an open-ended question," says Dinkin. "It can be as simple as, ‘So, tell me, what’s going on?’ Then listen to that person’s side of the story. When the situation turns negative, insert yourself. Establish you are willing to see his or her side of the story.
I can recall a time I had an ongoing conflict with a coworker who continually questioned my abilities and performance. Frustrated, angry, and hurt, I went to the manager to discuss what could be done to stop this employee from badmouthing me to the rest of the staff. She began by asking about a particular project, which was her icebreaker, and then asked how I felt about what was being said. And she listened to my answer. Understanding she was willing to listen to me explain my frustration was important. It made me feel comfortable speaking to her about the problem and approaching her later about other, non-conflict issues at work.
Work toward a SMART solution. Sustainable solutions are SMART because they are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timed. Who will do what? How will you be able to tell it is being done? Can it really be achieved? Is it realistic? Be willing to set dates and change if needed. "Once you have your SMART solutions in place, immediately put them in writing," says Dinkin. "Verbal agreements have a way of being remembered very differently by different people and then becoming the subject of another conflict." By writing solutions down, everyone involved can see what was discussed, what plan was agreed upon, and what steps are necessary for arriving at the solution.
