This has been a difficult weekend for me, I must confess.
For the past several months I have been working nonstop. Rather than hire someone to help out around the house, be it with the cleaning, errands or the childcare, I have done it all.
I have painfully worked that Sleeping Child Schedule morning, noon and night.
I have also worked when the kids were watching a show, or I’ve checked email during family time.
I recently posted about taking Saturdays off. This was something I promised my family that I would do, because lately, all they have seen of me has been a glazed over looking mom whose eyes are bulging out of her head due to too much computer use.
The problem, the dilemma, the issue is this: I have worked very, very hard over the past several years to grow my company, and I have a done a darn good job. I’ve gotten repeat clients. Right now I’m working on a site for a client who I believe will go national. I’ve gotten a great portfolio behind my belt as far as web design and logo design has gone, as well as with my writing.
I have, like I said, worked very hard.
Right now, business is booming. The economy has slowed the full website design packages, but now that blogs and modifiying templates is hot, I’ve stayed steady.
A few times my husband has mentioned the idea of hiring someone to come in and help: either a mommy’s helper or a house cleaner.
I’ve declined this arrangement. I don’t know, I’m sure it would work out fine, but first of all I don’t want to feel as though I have to work very hard to have someone come in and clean or take care of the kids, and I feel guilty doing this. I’m their mother, I’m the house cleaner. Does any of this make sense?
Perhaps not. Or perhaps so. Like I said it has been a tough weekend.
This weekend, I decided to step back some from the business. It was like running full steam ahead for 20 miles of a marathon and then stopping short of the finish line.
I have things that I have not yet done, that I wanted to do, that I had plans to do.
I just can’t do them right now.
I can’t continue to work this amount of time each day. It’s not been healthy for me. I’ve been tired, and getting sick, which I never do. I’ve been run down and frustrated and angry with everything because I can’t keep up with anything. It’s like having your hands in twenty different pots. You just don’t have that many hands.
So, for now, I’m going to stop taking as many jobs as I have been taking. It’s like a kick in the gut, really. To be so busy for so long and then to step back from it a bit. I’m not giving up completely, oh no, and when the girls are just a bit older and both are in school I will forge on full steam ahead again.