I could tell by the end of this week I was burning out.
For the most part, I can handle this unbelievable schedule I’m on. I wake up at 5 every day but Sunday. I run or work out first, and then I work on the business for an hour and a half or so until everyone stirs.
We go, go, go until naptime, when I sit down and work on the business.
After nap we continue to go, and then when the kids hit their pillows I start working on the business – again. I try to drop into bed by 10. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I also try to read ‘for fun’ for a few minutes, but usually my eyes are so heavy by that time I just give up and turn off the light. Reading for fun took a backseat to the rest of life a long time ago. I miss it, but unless I keep a book next to the toilet, well, forget it! (And honestly, I don’t even get to use the bathroom alone anymore. I’m typically telling the baby not to pull out the makeup and my four year old not to climb up on the counters while I’m also trying to use the bathroom, file my nails and pick up the trash that didn’t make it into the trashcan).
Ah, but I digressed.
This week I queried a magazine about an article that I’m writing regarding a work at home business mom’s hectic schedule. I stated in the query that I had made it work for our family for the past four and a half years. Yet if they had seen me yesterday, they would have thought differently.
My head was pounding, my right eye began to twitch (which always happens when I’m stressed), I yelled at my husband for something silly (which I rarely do-he’s such a lucky guy!). I began to cry when the girls kept screaming at the top of their lungs because, for some reason they like the way that it sounds. I tripped. I fell into my car while parked at the bank because the car beside me had parked too closely (didn’t they see the car seats in the back?!)
I started to question whether I was built for this type of hectic life – work, family, working out, planting a garden, you know, that type of thing. I started to think I should hang up my business license for a few years until the girls were older and I had more free time. I considered booking a flight to the Caribbean for one – me – and just sipping a few cocktails on the beach for a few days away from the craziness that is my everyday life.
I told my daughters that the next toy I stepped on would end up in the trash.
Then last night at 7:30 when the girls got into bed, I got into bed. I tried to watch one of those Hollywood shows, the kind that talks about the stars that I never get to watch, but five minutes into it the flickering lights were hurting my head even more. So I turned off the television and fell fast asleep.