How to Say No Without Coming Across as Disrespectful
Probably one of the hardest things to do is to say what you mean and mean what you say. Too many people shrink away from confrontation, especially if it involves someone they know, i.e., a boss, colleague or friend. Do you find it hard to be assertive and say no? Do you find it difficult to put your foot down and not let people manipulate you and push you around?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, I highly recommend that you continue reading this article because I am going to share with you six ways you can say no without being disrespectful and still have people “eating out of the palm of your hand."
Note: These might come across as passive aggressive (which is not the way I communicate) but every audience is different and you have to adjust and adapt the way that you communicate to each person you meet.
Say No to now and yes to later
One of the major fears everyone has is the fear of rejection. A lot of people are afraid of hearing the word no. But why? Because they have a poor self-image of themselves. In essence, a lot of people walk around with an inferiority complex that is very fragile. It’s so fragile that getting rejected can literally cause them to fall into deep depression.
Knowing this and knowing that everyone wants to be loved and appreciated, you can still say no without feeling guilty. The technique of saying no to now and yes to later is probably the most effective and easiest ways to be firm but still remain kind and polite to the people you come across.
When you use this approach you are letting the other party know that your current schedule won’t allow you to be of service to them; however, they have the option to wait until you have the time to give them the your undivided attention or they can seek help from someone else.
Tip: When using this method always remember to direct people to someone you know, trust, and value. This way you don’t just leave your clients/customers hanging. This show of kindness goes a long way in building relationships.
Say no unless something changes
In his book The 4-Hour Workweek, Tim Ferriss states that the level of success you achieve is greatly determined by the number of hard conversations you are willing to have. Most times, this will involve people we know and care about.
It is easy for people, especially family and friends, to take you for granted. To expect to be at their beck and call whenever they NEED you; however, the successful person knows that tough love sometimes is the answer. How you can use this approach:
Say: I am really flattered that you want me to help you out, but my current responsibilities won’t allow me to and the last thing I would want to do is disappoint you. My hands are tied but can we chat in a few days and see if there is a change and try to work things out?
This is a very good approach as you have let your client/customer know that you are elated to have them ask you for help, but you are also honest in letting them know that you have other commitments that need to be attended to first.
Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you
Usually this approach is very common in sales. All salespeople have at one time had this phrase used on them. When someone tells you this, they are actually telling you that you have not given them enough reasons why they should buy your product. Essentially, they don’t believe that your product or service will do what you say it will.
On the flip side, it is one of the most effective ways to say no to someone without crushing their ego. It is also a good way to hold off on committing to an idea or plan immediately and instead taking the time to think. We all know that fast decisions are usually wrong decisions, especially if they involve money.
If your client or customer is genuine, waiting a couple more days won’t be an issue for them. They will be happy to wait because they know that their product is good and will add value to you.
I’m not the best person to help you with this, but try Mr. X
If you know that you cannot effectively be of help to someone, don’t bother committing yourself. Too often, a lot of people -- people pleasers in particular -- bite off more than they can chew. Driven by the need to be popular, they end up disappointing their clients.
Sending your leads to the right person/department isn’t a sign of weakness; on the contrary, it is a mark of strength. Letting your clients know that they are dealing with the wrong person and directing them to the right channel is the highest level of integrity you can establish with them.
I will keep your information on file
If this phrase has ever been used on you, I would suggest you start looking for an alternative solution to your problem. This approach is mostly used on job seekers and is a polite way of telling them we do not require your services.
It is a good approach because it keeps the receiver of the news encouraged and hopeful about the future. It also shows consideration on your part to take the time to get back to your customers and clients. Trust me, I have received a few of these messages myself and it makes all the difference. It portrays you as caring, approachable and understanding person.
Put emotion into it. I’d love to help but…
If you are looking for a gentle way to say no to your customers and clients, this is the best approach. It’s refreshing and encouraging to the other person because it lets them know that you think their idea is great and see nothing bad in it.
This approach also shows that you have pending commitments and won’t be able to take on any more work. It gives the impression that your service is top quality and in demand.
There you have it! The six surefire ways of saying no without being disrespectful. Do you agree? What are some of the ways you say no? I would love to hear them. Let’s continue this discussion in the comments.
