How to Have a Tough Conversation With Your Employees
It’s one of the hardest things you’ll do as a manager: have a difficult conversation with an employee. Still, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you, it’s inevitable. At some point during your career you will need to sit down and discuss something with an employee that will make you both feel uneasy, whether it's about job performance, HR issues, or something else.
To help your next tough conversation go a little bit smoother, here are a few helpful tips for how to approach situations like these.
Have a Clear Objective
Before you schedule the meeting or talk to your employee, consider your objectives. What do you want to cover in the meeting? What do you hope to gain out of having this conversation?
Knowing the why behind the conversation will guide you toward a resolution. If you don’t have a clear sense of the outcome, the discussion won’t be productive or useful to you or the employee.
Schedule It
You know you need to have a difficult conversation. Chances are, your employee knows it’s coming, too. Still, it’s important you don’t catch him or her off-guard. Doing so could cause the emloyee's defenses to go up immediately, making it difficult to converse.
Schedule the meeting a few days or more before you plan to sit down and have the discussion. Keep the details to a minimum, but still make it clear you will meet. This gives your employee time to digest what will happen at the meeting so they don’t feel ambushed.
Start Strong
Starting difficult conversations is perhaps one of the hardest parts. By now you’ve scheduled the meeting and your employee probably has a good idea of what you’ll discuss. Start strong by addressing the concern immediately. The more upfront you can be in your meeting, the less tension there will be between you and your employee.
Ask, Don’t Accuse
Once you’ve stated your concern, ask your employee for his side of the story. This gives your employee a chance to have a voice right away, which will further break down any defenses he might still have up. As the conversation progresses, continue this non-accusatory approach.
Keep Emotions at Bay
Difficult conversations can escalate quickly. Employees might cry, lash out with frustration, or shut down in silence as a way of revolting against the discussion. Emotions run high and everyone is tense.
To reduce the inevitable tension, focus on keeping emotional verbiage to a minimum. If an employee is accusatory, don’t engage. Embrace awkward silences by sitting quietly instead of filling the void with potentially emotionally charged words. The more you can keep emotions out of the conversation, the better it will go.
Set the Example
As you sit down for the difficult conversation, remember you are the one in charge. Set the example of how you want it to go by talking to your employee in the way you’d like them to speak to you. This will set the immediate tone for the meeting and get you started on the right foot.
