Here's how I thermo-nuked my spyware: and you can, too

Spyware often takes the forms of bytes planted on your PC or network by third-party companies who use these installations to track your surfing habits and then show you ads based on your presumed interests. Some call it adware, but to me that's just a kinder, gentler term.

Far more harmful, spyware can insert itself on your hard drive and then trigger alerts that hijack your web browser when you click a dead link. Instead of an acknowledgement that the link is dead, you will get anything from a porn Web site to an opening page for an obscure search engine with links that just have more spyware.

I've noticed that every day or two, my PC slows down due to these infestations. I've run anti-spyware utlities such as AdAware and Pest Patrol, but guess what- the infestations keep coming back.

Then, last night, I said enough of this wild goose chase. I loaded and paid $29.95 for a copy of Spyware Doctor. It took four hours, but found more than 1,200 infestations. With a couple of exceptions it wiped all of these danged spyware applets to where bad things, bad people and bad bytes ought to go.

Didn't even need to reboot. PC is working at warp speed, Mr. Sulu. Now we're hummin' here.

Like a busy Border Patrol agent, Spyware Doctor is now on patrol for subsequent incursions of this digital detritus. A few will get through, but later tonight - when the X-Chromosomal unit and yours truly are at a party, Spyware Doctor's regularly scheduled autocheck will find these rogues and smash the bits to bits.