Airport Bingo

As a young child who was forced to endure long road trips with his family during the Holidays, I am no stranger to “Trip Bingo.”  Mom handed us all a cardboard bingo card that had little red windows that slid over the squares when you saw the site that was described inside.  All of us were on the lookout for herds of cows, campers, trucks, out of state license plates, billboards, barns, and boxcars.  Whenever someone would win, we’d switch cards and start over.  Woo.  Today, kids can scarcely make it to the grocery store without watching some DVD in their mini-van.  Bah; stuff that kid into the back of a packed out Pinto with a bingo card, and drive him across the country for 1,000 miles.  That’ll learn him…

Despite all of the slick new electronic gizmos available to help us pass the time these days, everyone eventually finds themselves at a place where they just can’t check anymore email, or spend any more time on their laptop.  We look at our watch and there’s not enough time before boarding the plane to embark on any significant new project, but there’s way too much time left to just sit there and stare into space.  I have the answer!  People Bingo!  Bingo cards have 24 squares on them, with a free space in the middle.  Here are 24 people to look for.  All you have to do is arrange them in a 5x5 table, in a different order on each page, and print them out.  Pass one to your traveling companion and “it’s on!”  Loser buys a round…

 A Mullet

Double Wide stroller (or bigger)

Gothic Teenager

More than three tattoos

More than three face piercings

Food stain on the shirt

Man holding cell phone out in front, like a waiter with a tray

LOUD cell phone talker

Screaming Child

Hammer pants, or 80s spandex

Pillowcase “suitcase”

Drunk passenger

Dog with a sweater

Woman in 5” heels (or higher)

Too much “rear end” showing in low-rise pants

Thong underwear (if you can see it, mark it)

Ton family (at least 5 members)

Someone in an electric cart who doesn’t need it

Obnoxious airport employee honking a cart

Someone running because they’re late “Opposites Attract” couple

Too much PDA (Public display of affection)

Child on a leash

Tight leather pants

There you go.  I’ve seen all of these, so don’t think it’s impossible to win!

EXTRA: If you have questions for Ken regarding business travel, hotels, airplanes, etc, please send an email!  Your questions will be recorded and Ken will answer the best ones in his Ask the Expert podcast show.