Do you have cankles? You may not even know what they are so you have never given it a thought. (I can only hope.) Yet, many women worry daily about their cankles. If you don’t know what cankles are, you may be surprised. Cankles are unshapely, chubby ankles. For some women they’re the cause of alarm. Other women think that cakey lips are a major deficit in business. Enough already. This has got to stop.
Women, whether your ankles are large or small, it just doesn’t matter. Spending that much energy — and I’ll get to the cost later — is a big waste of your time. Besides, what is it doing to you? It’s time to stop complaining about yourself.
I met a trainer at a meeting recently and was asking him about his business. Imagine my surprise when he told me how men and women are so different to work with. He hears a lot of talk in the gym. He told me what men do. He said, “When a guy is 50 pounds overweight, he looks in the mirror and despite the major gut, looks at himself and says, “You have really nice eyes.” The woman who looks fine will look in the mirror and say, “I hate my thighs.” This trainer told me women are never happy with themselves and men are always happy with themselves. What’s going on?
Women, it’s time to stop. If you want people to accept you in business just the way you are, you have to be the first one to accept yourself. I’m not saying to stop exercising. I’m saying that if you’re working to be healthy, that who you are is fine–just the way you are. If men can see their strengths first, not last, women have to start doing that, too. The time and energy you spend criticizing yourself is bringing you down. Stop it.
Now about the money. Some women are spending $4000 to $6000 on surgery for their ankles. That’s what the plastic surgeons are charging. Are these women nuts? I think so. First, why risk the danger of surgery? Second, if people are judging you on your ankles, they have the problem, not you. Then again, if you think surgery is necessary, you’ve got the problem. Your focus is on the wrong thing.
Then there are the women who routinely complain about other women. That’s s just plain mean. I know a very talented woman who worked hours and hours putting the details together for a major conference. What did she get for all her hard work? Criticism that was out of line. One woman said there was too much food at the conference.
Are you stunned? If you think the planner tried to order excessive amounts of food, she didn’t. The meal plan that the hotel offered included the great selection. There was something for everyone. Instead of recognizing that some people like eggs and sausage for breakfast and others like oatmeal and granola, this was a problem for one woman. She saw it as too much food. When I heard that, I said to the meeting organizer, “If she can’t put down her fork, that’s her problem. She needs to get over it.” Yet, the negative comment hurt the meeting planner’s feelings and she was very upset about it.