David Maister nails it:
The crucial first step – taking ownership and responsibility when you feel that you are not being well understood – is a huge challenge for most of us, personally and professionally. How often have you had a disagreement with a family member, only to give up in frustration when they “just won’t listen to you” or “see your point of view?”
Yet only by taking responsibility for the effectiveness of our communications can we obtain the influence or the results that we want. We have to stop attributing blame, and start viewing the situation as a problem to be solved. We have to learn to get people to engage with us, not just take opposing sides.
I absolutely know this and what’s more, I agree. So why do I violate my own knowledge, only to be forced to re-learn this lesson on a semi-regular basis? Rhetorical question, but still…