Gallagher the comedian used to suggest that we all carry suction cup dart-guns that shoot little flags that stick to people that say “Dumbass” on them. He understood that all of us have our slower moments from time to time, but others seem to just perpetuate stupid behavior. His idea was that if you see someone doing something completely ridiculous, to shoot them with your suction cup flag. That way, if the police ever encounter someone with more than say, five flags on them, they can write them a ticket for being inconsiderate to the rest of the civilized world (or just shoot them with real bullets, I’m “OK” either way).
Look, I realize that the TSA has done their best to convolute the whole idea of “Traveling with Liquids” (maybe we should all shoot them with our “Dumbass” flags), but the general principal is clear, “Do NOT attempt to carry large quantities of liquid through security!” If you’re not clear on how much liquid is too much, err on the safe side and check the liquids or just buy some when you get to your destination.
I think the “No Liquids” rule has been around long enough now for everyone to get the gist. Where I am amazed at the lack of understanding (and where I’m going to need a whole box of flags for my dart gun) is in the gift shops at the airport that you encounter before you go through security. Those shops typically sell all kinds of liquids, from Bourbon to BBQ Sauce, and Water to Wine. I hear this phrase all the time: “Of COURSE you can take it through security honey, they wouldn’t sell the stuff right here in the airport if you couldn’t!” Uh, yes… They would!
I hear people on the airplane talking about how “horrible” and how “stupid” the gift shop workers are for selling them merchandise that got confiscated ten minutes later at the security line. I can’t begin to understand the logic that those rants are based on! People arriving at destinations are allowed to buy liquids. Friends and family who accompany you to the airport are allowed to buy liquids. If you are about to board a plane and you haven’t cleared security yet, you are certainly allowed to buy liquids, you just can’t take them onto the plane with you! You might find this difficult to grapple with, but you will have to do a bit of thinking for yourself when you travel; the government can only take “so much” care of you. I’m so tired of trying to explain this to folks in the airport, I’m just going to have to buy another box of flags for my dart gun.
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