My friend Billy is a bit of a naturalist. He and his wife home-school their kids, they don’t eat meat, they wear natural fiber clothes… ok, they’re hippies. But they’re kind hearted hippies with jobs who eat wine and cheese and vote Republican so I can forgive a lot of their “hippiness.” One thing I struggle with though, is his choice of antiperspirant. He uses a natural rock of some sort. Some “magical” crystal that does leave some sort of moisture barrier on the skin to combat a bit of perspiration, but the rock is severely lacking in the deodorant department. I marvel at the fact that he can’t seem to smell himself… how is that possible? I can’t figure out how to tell him without hurting his feelings, perhaps one day after enough wine or cheese has been consumed I’ll just blurt it out. Or, he might read this blog and the elephant in the room will be vanquished. In any case, it’s a foul stench to be reckoned with.
I’ve encountered similar stink in some hotel rooms and I’ve started to give my hotel closets and drawers the “sniff test” prior to unpacking. I’ll call down and ask to move rooms before I hang a week’s worth of starched button downs in a closet that wreaks of cigarette smoke or B.O. You have to smell the drawers too. Someone else’s stinky socks can do a number on a drawer that seals tightly. How disgusting is it to think of someone else’s stinky foot dander corrupting your socks and underwear? No, thanks.
The first time this ever happened to me, I called the front desk and asked for a manager. I was doubly upset because I’d unpacked everything and was just getting ready to hang the last of my clothes in the closet when the smell hit me. He came to the room. It didn’t take long for him to confirm the odor. He was apologetic and he returned with a bottle of Glade air freshener. Uh… no. Now how can I put this delicately? Having shared one bathroom with five family members as a kid, I can tell you that if you spray a rose scented Glade air freshener in a small room that smells “poopy,” what you end up with is a horrible new “Rosy poop” smell that’s even worse!
I politely declined his efforts and asked to move to another room, even though it mean that I had to re-pack everything. If you have a similar problem and your hotel manager comes to your room with anything less than an industrial strength enzyme removal agent, I suggest that you do the same!
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