Government Contractor: A gambler who never gets to cut, shuffle or deal the cards.
Bid Opening: A poker game in which the losing hand wins
Low Bidder: A contractor who wonders what he or she left out of their bid
Engineer’s Estimate: The cost of construction in Heaven
Project Manager: The conductor of an orchestra in which every muscian is in a different union
Critical Path Method Scheduling: A managment technique for losing your shirt under perfect control
Strike: An effort to increase golden egg production by strangling the goose.
Delayed Payment: a tourniquet applied at the pockets
Completion Date: The day before liquidate damages are assessed.
Liquidated Damages: The penalty for failing to acheive the impossible
Lawyer: People who go in after the war’s lost and bayonet the wounded
IRS: The next people after the lawyers who strip the body of any valuables