It has always amazed me that when someone speaks, they can say most anything under the sun – yet they choose to say whatever the words are that they choose at that time. Think of some moments where someone slipped out something unbelievably rude, or unkind, or self-serving, or just plain dumb out there – and words are so powerful, they are not something that can be taken back. In selling, this could be the great (or horrid) first impression, or worse, could be words mis-said to a long-standing client or valuable customer. Or it could be what you say to yourself – hurtful, untrue, or self-defeating.
The most important agreements are the ones we tell ourselves, according to The Four Agreements – a wonderful book to read and own. The book, by don Miguel Ruiz, whom I met at a coaching conference five or so years ago, is a must have for anyone interested in improving their communication with others, and being a high integrity business owner or sales professional.
For a taste of these ideas, take a look at the agreements, and then find a copy of the book for more details – it’s well worth the time and money investment:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.