We all make mistakes when we’re young. We ignore our parents. We don’t take our careers seriously. We join MySpace. But as we grow, we learn. We realize our parents were right. We launch lucrative blogging careers. We expunge all traces of that embarrassing MySpace profile and join Facebook. Anyway, that’s the implication of a recent study by research firm Nielsen Claritas, as reported by CNN. The study found that poor loser people are far more likely to be on MySpace than Facebook. The study’s authors don’t actually use the words “poor” and “loser.” But, again, that’s the implication: 23 percent of Facebook members earn over $100,000 annually but just 16 percent of MySpace members do; 37 percent of MySpace users earn under $50,000 a year but just 28 percent of Facebook users do. And us? We long ago got bored with the whole idea of social networking. (Don’t follow us on Twitter! You’ll be glad you didn’t!)
Small business: not social. Small-business owners are constantly being harangued by experts: get into social networking or get left behind! They’re not listening. A survey done for Citibank Small Business reveals that three-quarters of small-business people think sites like LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter are a waste of time. Turns out they have better things to do. (We hope Citibank is not spending too much of our bailout money on surveys in search of the obvious.)
A dying industry. A lot of people nowadays are thinking about a career change. Dogwalker, franchise owner. Funeral director? Why not? After all, a funeral is the third-largest purchase most Americans will ever make, after a house and car. And although the funeral industry has been hurt by the recession, like many other businesses it is expected to see a significant uptick when baby boomers start thinking about their, er, reclining years.
With friends like this, who needs friends? Worried you’ll have a funeral and no one will show up? In Japan they’ve thought of that. There are agencies there that hire out actors to fill empty seats at funerals and many other events, including birthdays, weddings, retirement parties, whatever. For a slightly higher fee, the actor will deliver a laudatory speech, eulogy or bachelor’s toast–even if they’ve never met you in their life. But our favorite part is the range of roles you can choose for your actors: old flame, rich uncle, new boss, long-lost high school pal, trophy girlfriend. (Wonder if they have anyone who can play a blog writer.)