We knew this day would come. We just didn’t think it would come so soon.
Businesses have begun to hire monkeys.
Well, one business, anyway. A tavern called Kayabukiya on the outskirts of Tokyo has taken on a waitstaff of two macaques. Clad in traditional garb, they scamper to the kitchen and back, delivering hot towels, beer and sake.
They even understand customer orders. Shout for another round and they bring it. (Which is more than we can say for some of the waiters we’ve had to deal with.) This being Japan, of course, the monkeys don’t work for peanuts. They prefer edamame.
Japanese animal-rights rules limit the primates to shifts of two hours a day. But owner Kaoru Otsuka has anticipated potential labor problems and is now training three junior macaques to join his staff.
Kayabukiya patrons love their attentive and efficient monkey waiters. We like the idea too. Imagine the many places where service could be improved by eager monkey employees: cable companies, video-rental shops, the DMV.
Really, the sky’s the limit. Monkey baristas, monkey airport screeners, monkey post office clerks.
Maybe even someday…monkey bloggers?
No chance. Even monkeys have their standards.