That’s the title of this Forbes Mag. article. It seems to me that there is something wrong embedded in the title itself.
The word GET always makes my "warning, control" radar go up. Forget how we GET people to trust us, isn’t the more important question how we can be trustworthy?
I think it is Covey who made this distinction, too. Yes, here’s a quote from this online article about Covey’s 7 Habits.
Covey writes that the inside-out approach says "[I]f you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy rather than empowering it. If you want to have a more pleasant, cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathic, consistent, loving parent. If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing employee. If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy. If you want the secondary greatness of recognized talent, focus first on primary greatness of character."
Managers who are trustworthy – open, candid, caring, consistent, keeping promises, not gossiping – will be trusted.
Here are a couple quotes from the Forbes article that I find particularly disturbing:
From love to business to politics, trust matters. There’s no magic
formula to building a trusting relationship. But there are a couple
tricks to help you gain trust in a hurry–even if you don’t deserve it.
and then this one…
Old-fashioned kissing up can also encourage trust. Feinstein advises
her clients to make the object of their affection feel at ease by doing
favors, giving compliments and being accommodating.
The key to
establishing a long-term connection is consistency. A key part of
espionage, says Earnest, is making local informants feel safe in every
situation and with everyone in the agency. "If someone else is sloppy,"
he says, "the source fades away."
Huh? This smacks of Apprentice style management advice – power, manipulation, appearances. Yuck! We need to develop and build stronger, more trusting relationships in business, not more smoke and mirrors, disingenuous flattery, and short cut social strategies.