It´s a dog´s life when you´re working at a start-up. At least that´s what Bodie, the Triactivekids.com and TriActive America dog, says about his experiences in the wild world of e-commerce.
"People think it´s easy, being a dog," barks Bodie. "Hah! Let me clue you in on the truth about a dog´s life when he´s a mere pawn in the corporate chaos."
We sat in the sun (Bodie encourages his humans to take sidewalk breaks whenever possible) and discussed the challenges faced by a business dog.
"First, there´s the cuteness requirement," Bodie yelped. "Management told me when they first interviewed me, "Regardless of the breed, we expect all dog employees to be cute on a daily basis. No cuteness; no dog biscuits, it´s that simple."
Bodie placed his head mournfully on his paws and raised his eyes in his best "poor, pitiful me" doggy expression.
"Second, there´s not enough play time," whimpered Bodie. "These people spend WAY too much time staring at their computers. I ask you: do computers roll over? Do they shake paws? Hah! Dogs are a thousand times more clever than computers. So why play with that dumb machine instead of the office dog?"
An enormous doggy sigh blew away the fax paper.
"Last, but not least, let´s discuss the concept of the pee pause," Bodie continued. "Now this is serious. As a good corporate dog, I am highly trained in bladder control. Am I ever praised for that control? NEVER! Instead, these people sit in their meetings hour after hour. They occasionally escape into the bathroom and close the door. I´ve tried to hint that I need a pee pause by pawing at the bathroom door. But they ignore me. It´s pitiful. People, pay attention! A dog needs to have his pee pauses."
Bodie nodded his head in satisfaction, scratched one ear, and raised his paw expectantly. Payment for the interview had, of course, been pre-negotiated and the fee of one Gourmet Peanut Butter Dog Biscuit was promptly rendered.