The other day I posted about unhappiness in the workplace. Recent studies have shown that many people are unhappy with their jobs and would like to change careers if possible. Many studies have linked unhappiness at work to unhappiness in the marriage, but Terri Orbuch (also known as The Love Doctor),author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, found that those who are happy at work are happier in marriage. Finally, a positive correlation between work and marriage emotions!
Orbuch studied hundreds of married couples for nearly twenty-five years and discovered that those who were happy with their jobs were more likely to report being happy in their marriages.
This makes sense to me! We probably all know someone who is dissatisfied at the office. Those who don’t enjoy waking up each morning and spending the majority of their time where they go each day are likely to feel some frustration at home. This discord could definitely cause issues in the marriage.
If you are feeling frustrated with your job, Orbuch says you should seek assistance at home. “Research shows that
the need for assistance is one of the three of all people in
relationships (intimacy and reassurance of one’s value are the other
Seeking solutions to work-related problems together strengthens the
and feeling that “we’re in this together.”
A spouse who understands your frustration will be more likely to offer assistance and, I’m guessing, more likely to not take your frustrations personally at the end of a bad day – something we all are likely to do when we, too, are tired.
Orbuch says you should grow in your job as well, since those employees who know they are making progress are more likely to be happy, and get the stress out in some shape or form. Exercise, talking, or spending down time doing something you enjoy is a positive way to release the tension a bad workday creates.
Finally, Orbuch says you should always share your work life with your spouse. “My study found that
the happiest marriages were ones where partners felt their spouse
disclosed information about his or her life, and did not keep
details from work that might be deemed “boring.” ”
While you may believe your spouse doesn’t want to hear about the ‘awful’ meeting you had to attend, your spouse may very well want to hear about it – and getting it off of your chest in a five-minute talk over dinner could make a difference in your attitude as well!
Do you share your workday with your spouse? In our home, we do discuss the business side of life. We begin by a round table discussion at dinner each night; the girls go first and then my husband and I follow. Stories that require more than a thirty second time space (this is about as long as we get to talk before one of our daughters interjects with something she forgot to say when it was her turn!) we carry the conversation over after they have gone to bed.