We all know fast food can give you a stomach ache, but this is ridiculous. A woman in Florida was biting into her footlong chicken teriyaki sub from Subway when she felt an unmistakable sharpness. No, it wasn’t her digestive tract crying out in rebellion. It was a knife baked into the bread. Luckily, she discovered the blade before any damage was done. Franchise owner Mallorie Johnson fired the employee who accidentally baked the knife into the bread and offered the woman a free meal. We’re thinking that may not be enough to appease the victim, who is preserving the sub, knife and all, in her freezer. Can you smell a lawsuit?
A sickening story. Speaking of lawsuits, a Chicago resident is suing his local Jimmy John’s for serving him the wrong sandwich. Mackenzie Seiler ordered the Turkey Tom, but instead was given the Totally Tuna with mayo and cheese. Seiler scarfed down the meal but then, because of food allergies, “became seriously ill and remained so for a long time.” Now he wants more than $50,000 for his pain and suffering. So, here’s the question: does this guy have a hope in hell of collecting? The blogosphere has weighed in on this story and doesn’t have much sympathy for Mr. Seiler’s plight. Among the scathing comments:
- “Jeeeeeezus!!!!! You can obviously tell the difference between turkey & tuna by looking at it, smelling it & tasting it…HELLO!!!”
- “Here’s a thought genius, don’t eat the sandwich!”
- And our personal favorite: “The judge that allows this case to be heard should be immediately removed from the bench, and the attorney who took this case should be publicly tarred and feathered!
To die for. Just to keep this blog post consistent, we’re going to air the dirty laundry of another sandwich franchise. A Quiznos employee in Kentucky was recently mistaken for a person about to commit suicide and apprehended by police. So what was he doing? Cramming Toasty Torpedoes down his throat until he choked to death? In reality, the guy was standing on a highway overpass and holding up a sign promoting the sub chain. But he was doing his job a little too well. A concerned motorist saw him dancing on the bridge railing (presumably to draw attention to himself) and notified the authorities. The misunderstanding was quickly cleared up, but the man was cited for disorderly conduct. The good news: he’s still employed by Quiznos. After all, he was just doing his job.