Leadership Now has a great post about the neccessity of confirming in a feedback loop. I mentioned this previously, but didn’t expand on it like Don does. He’s got an excellent article about alternative ways to say "What I hear you saying is…". That’s the part of active listening that really drives people nuts. Just that repetition of "So what you’re saying is…" ad nauseum.
Active listening can work wonders for you, but you’ve got to make it palatable and transparent to the other person.