A powerful Burger King franchisee believes “global warming is baloney,” and has taken the radical step of displaying that very message on its roadside signs. The franchisee, Mirabile Investment Corporation, owns more than 40 Burger Kings across Tennessee, Arkansas and Mississippi. The folks at Burger King corporate are none to happy about their brand being tied directly to ignorant, right-wing propaganda. They have issued an order to remove the signs, but the franchisee has given them the cold shoulder (no pun intended). Mirabile’s marketing president, John McNelis, told the Guardian newspaper that “Burger King can bluster all they want about what they can tell the franchisee to do, but we have free-speech rights in this country so I don’t think there’s any concerns.” McNelis adds that Burger King is acting “kinda like cockroaches when the lights get turned on.” C’mon, Mr. McNelis, is it really wise for a burger joint to be talking about cockroaches?
No gooooal. We believe in being fair and balanced. That’s why we went out of our way to dig up this unflattering story from United Arab Emirates. It seems the star player on the UAE’s national soccer blames none other than Mickey D’s for preventing his team from qualifying for the 2010 World Cup. Saleh Obaid told local newspapers that players were bingeing on Big Macs twice a day. “You know what we eat for dinner and lunch? Professional players – what kind of food do you think? We eat from McDonald’s. Everyone eats from McDonald’s. No good food,” Obaid said. McDonalds is major sponsor of next year’s World Cup. They might reconsider that one.
Best job in the world. We were shocked and appalled to read news from Thailand that native English speakers who travel to that country to teach English are really there to party down and hit the beach rather than, gasp, work. The Nation newspaper reports that eight franchisees of the English Plus language school have accused the franchisor of fraud for failing to provide qualified foreign teachers. Franchisees complained that “teachers were often absent from classes and many times the teachers were drunk while teaching.” Where do we sign up?
Mmm, donuts. And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Dunkin’ Donuts has finally announced the winner of its “Create Dunkin’s Next Donut” contest. Jeff Hager of Hoover, Ala., concocted the “Toffee for your Coffee” donut, which is a glazed, sour cream donut sprinkled with chopped up Heath Bars. Hager collects $12,000 for his efforts, and his winning donut will appear on store shelves this fall. Homer Simpson would be proud.