My friend Derek embodies everything about the “typical American male” that I can think of. He has a wife, two darling children, two working dogs to hunt ducks and pheasants with, a house, a truck, a car, a motorcycle, a bass boat, a duck-boat, and a cabin in the woods. His hobbies include hunting, fishing, glass blowing, and making knives by hand. Perhaps Derek’s most curious of toys is his new golf cart. It has a gas powered combustion engine and Derek has tinkered with it to eek out every foot-pound of torque and power that he can muster. Here’s the curious part… Derek doesn’t golf!
No sir, Derek’s golf cart has one purpose in life (when it’s not digging trenches in his front yard on its latest “test run”). The distance from Derek’s cabin to the slip where his fishing boat is moored is a devastating 150 yards or so. That’s a marathon to have to walk so early in the morning, just to go fishing, right? This is
Perhaps the craziest thing of all is, I agree with him! I even applauded when I learned that he planned to put some off-road tires on the green beast! Now, we can make the trip even shorter (if we want) by cutting through the trees! Nary a single second will be wasted when we’re ready to fish, no sir.
Now call me a hypocrite if you want, but while I think it’s perfectly fine and even “natural” for Derek to zip around a campground in a golf cart, I have a disdain and deep seated hatred for those electric carts it the airport. They’ve gotten carried away lately. One of those idiots actually ran over my suitcase last week. So, for the benefit of my blog audience… I looked into it for you!
All international airports have them. Most airports don’t require you to schedule them and no, they’re not exclusively for the elderly, handicapped, injured, or any other group. According to their rules, they’re for “anyone.” Yes, anyone. The
I don’t have a problem with it per se, but in the last two years at MSP, they’ve more than doubled the carts, AND (the worst part) they allow and encourage tipping of the drivers. So… if a driver has an empty cart, he’s not making money and he’s motivated to find a busy gate, pronto. This means you have a legion of tip crazed fools who’s only English skills include, “Esa-cuyse me, coming through, Esa-cus-a-me” screaming through the airport in pursuit of a fare, your bags, toes, and hips be damned.
My advice? Use these carts whenever possible, and remember that tipping is OPTIONAL! Hop in, take a leisurely ride to your gate or to baggage claim! By all means, tip the driver if he’s courteous and careful… and take the time to report him if he’s not.
My dream is that some day they’ll allow Derek and I free reign of the airport in his golf cart! We won’t pick anyone up, but we will most certainly set a new concourse record or two!