Say what you will about Texas but the folks down there have a knack for packaging gross as great and selling it to America.
First came George Bush. Now comes the Pickle Sickle, a freezer pop made of pickle juice.
John Howard invented the Pickle Sickle at his Outer Skate roller rink in Seguin, Texas. He was already selling pickles at the snack bar. One day he started freezing the brine and selling that also. To the surprise of few (apparently South Texas is a hotbed of pickle-juice drinkin’), Outer Skate patrons lapped it up.
So Howard, who is ever alert to an opportunity (this is a man who bought a roller rink, after all), increased production and now sells 20,000 Pickle Sickles a month, through booster-club fundraisers, in food stores around Texas, out of ice cream trucks in New England (where they’re strangely popular) and on the internet. They cost $17.95 for a box of 16.
How do they taste? Howard says kids and old people love them. But so what? They like a lot of repulsive stuff. We needed to know more. So, deploying the massive fact-finding resources at our disposal (i.e. Google), we dug deeper.
Here are excerpts from a taste test by the staff at the Onion (because who’d know pickles better than the Onion?).
“I’d rather eat crickets.”
“Pure disgustingness. Repugnant.”
“Made my throat burn very, very uncomfortably.”
But you know…they probably say the same things about George Bush.