Now 7 days until 2007. As I mentioned a couple days ago, I am going to focus on my daily approach to work and
life instead of setting end goal resolutions. I do have goals, for sure, but for the new year, I am thinking about approach.
As a reminder, here’s how I set this up in the first post: In each action we take or situation, we can ADD, SUBTRACT, or have a
minimal impact. For ourselves and for others. I think it would be
useful to think about moving the overall life needle further into the
ADD column. This can apply to anything.
Today I will focus on writing about connections with people. As manager, leaders, consultants, coaches, or just people trying to get things done, we need to cultivate each and every exchange we have with people.
Each conversation either ADDS, SUBTRACTS from the relationship or leaves it unchanged. Even the small hallway greetings and the lunch room how-dee-doos. Covey had a name for this, he called it the emotional bank account.
When I think about the situations that most often subtract, one word comes to mind: CONTROL. When we seek control over another person, we sap energy and collaboration right out of the relationship. Even when our intentions are good, control is evil juice for connections.
And really, we can’t control people anyway, so why try?
But we do. I often do. As I have written many times, I am a recovering control freak and I recognize that when I let my controlling instincts kick in, I generally subtract from the relationship.
Chip, chip, chipping away. A little at a time. It might take years before things fall apart, but that does not matter because in the mean time, the relationship has not lived up to its potential.
To add to the relationship, I need to be in a mindset of contribution and service. I need to appreciate people more fully and see their amazing uniqueness. I need to listen more fully and show a genuine interest in others. This shift is huge and creates a positive energy that ADDS to the relationship.
So that’s something important to focus on – adding to the relationship with every conversation.
Goal – ADD more and in more ways.