The Joy of Non-Parenting

What could be better than being an aunt or uncle? You get to take someone else’s kid, load them up with junk food, introduce them to your shiftless friends, and teach them wholly inappropriate expressions.

And here’s the best part: At the end of the day you get to hand them back to their shell-shocked parents.

Oh, the havoc wreaked by childless aunts and uncles across the land.

At least one new business is trying to stop the madness. SavvyAuntie.com is an online community and information resource for women who want to do more than corrupt their little nieces and nephews.

The ad-sponsored site provides expert advice designed specifically for aunts. It’s a place where they can sharpen their parenting skills without experiencing the actual trauma of being a parent.

Why would any advertisers be interested in this site? Because PANKs -- Professional Aunts, No Kids -- have plenty of discretionary income. And they’re happy to shower the little monsters in their lives with useless crap that their mean, mean parents would never buy them.

“Until now, marketers were focusing on mom,” says SavvyAuntie founder Melanie Notkin. “But it’s estimated that non-moms represent 50 percent of American women, and that number continues to grow.”

Where are all these sexy (sexy, savvy, whatever) non-moms, and why aren’t they calling us? Oh yeah, they prefer children in small doses.