PrintThere's nothing like a good old-fashioned pandemic to bring out the worst in people.
While our medical community is struggling to keep a vast swine flu outbreak under control against formidable obstacles, a gaggle of scam artists, conspiracy theorists and assorted other crazies have emerged to peddle their wares to a panicked public.
That's nothing new. But we need a reminder from time to time that those who seek profit or stature while exploiting other people's misery rank somewhere below child molesters, war criminals and dishonest mechanics in the grand scheme of things.
A scan of the Internet on the topic of swine flu reveals an array of alleged cures including air "sterilizers," photon machines, supplement pills to boost the immune system, protective shampoos and face masks. Even fake Tamiflu is being advertised, according to news reports.
One product that caught the attention of the FDA is the Photon Genie, a gadget that delivers "energy waves." Its Web site claimed it will "devitalize pathogens in the systems of the body (yeast, fungus, mold, viruses, bacteria, parasites, etc.), slowing infections, and reversing processes that lead to disease."
Of course, sticking your finger in a light socket will provide "energy waves" as well but I don't suggest it.
Another product was a spray called "Swine Flu...Gone" made with ionic silver.
Simply apply to your hands "and on any surface where these germs may exist and kill the virus," its web site claimed.
It is made by a company called Secrets of Eden which sells supplements and oils with a Biblical flair, said its general manager, Rick Strawcutter, a pastor in Adrian, Mich. The staff "got a little carried away" on marketing for one product and "drew the ire of the FDA," he told the Associated Press.
Carried away? The federal Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry says silver "may cause harmful health effects," depending on the amount and type of exposure.
Maybe Pastor Strawcutter should call his product line Nearer My God to Thee.
Even mainstream advertisers aren't immune, so to speak, from jumping on the pandemic bandwagon. The makers of Dial Soap, Kleenex, Clorox and other big brands launched a joint promotional campaign costing up to $1 million, according to the AP. The pitch:
"Germs are tiny organisms that can cause disease. According to the CDC, up to 80 percent of infectious diseases, like the flu, are spread by your hands. That's why frequent, proper handwashing is so important in preventing spread of the flu, other viruses and germs.
"An antibacterial soap like Dial Complete foaming hand wash kills 99.9 percent of germs."
Thanks for the science lesson. Except you forgot this part: Flu is caused by a virus, so killing bacteria is of uncertain benefit.
If that's not bad enough, consider the reaction from the paranoid community, whose take on the epidemic has been described in some circles as "The Days of Swine and Neuroses."
One commentator opines: "U.S. President Barack Obama has now declared a national emergency over in swine flu infections. The reasoning behind such a declaration? According to the White House, it's designed to allow hospitals to better handle the surge in patients by allowing them to bypass certain federal laws. That's the public explanation for this, but the real agenda behind this declaration may be far more sinister. Declaring a national emergency immediately gives federal authorities dangerous new powers that can now be enforced at gunpoint..."
Or consider this one: The "swine flu" is a creation of the pharmaceutical companies. They know it, they knew it would happen, and they are criminally profiting from their creation."
Wait, it gets worse: "World governments, spooked by the prospect of radical climate change caused by over-population of the planet, have assembled a super-secret task force to engineer and distribute a super virulent strain of influenza designed to "correct" the human population (and institute global Martial Law)."
A variation on this theme has President Obama using the flu to weed out political opponents, leaving a country full of Mao-quoting Muslim vegans who drive hybrids and support gay marriage.
Man, since he emerged from primordial ooze, has tried to somehow explain things he fears and can't control, like pandemics, natural disasters, BCS college football ratings and hedge funds.
Often, these explanations take on bizarre shapes as we grapple with problems that seem beyond our grasp.
I have no idea how this pandemic will end. But I do know this:
U.S. officials reported this week the addition of another million doses H1N1 swine flu vaccine, bringing the total so far to 23.2 million doses. The first estimates called for 40 million.
And officials said that every day more vaccine is becoming available,and they hope to see an end to the shortage over the next several weeks.
Common sense advice: When it becomes available, get the swine flu vaccine and your seasonal flu shot as well.
Drink plenty of liquids and avoid reading Internet rumors.
I wish you and yours safety and sanity.
Robert Rector is a former editor with the Pasadena Star-News and Los Angeles Times.