Designated Shopper: Physician, Exfoliate Thyself

My face," my teenage self wailed to my mother as I pointed out my zits, "is a disaster area!" Mom gently suggested, "Why not put on a little makeup?" "I am wearing makeup!" I shrieked, rending my garments to indicate profound distress.

Mom blanched and hauled my pimply self to a dermo, who confirmed I had pizza-face (to use the clinical parlance) and put me on a no-sweets, nearly fat-free diet. Apparently, the primitive reasoning at the time was that, because pimples are a disease of the oil glands, depriving the body of fats would put those glands out of the blemish-producing business. Hence, lettuce leaves and eggs (hold the yolk) were about all I could eat.

Predictably, I lost weight and my skin dried out. Yet, miraculously, the pimples remained plump and moist. (I likened it to the miracle of oranges growing in the Israeli desert.)

However, there was a second part to my doctor's instructions, and this proved a godsend. He recommended Liquimat, an OTC acne treatment and cover-up lotion. I am aware of no marketing campaign, then or now, for this ask-behind-the-counter-and-tell-'em-Louie-sent-you product, yet—here comes another miracle—I still use this phenomenal cover-up daily. This is from age 16 on, and I am now in my late 90s. All right, I exaggerate. Mid 90s.

Look younger, don't I? That's because the upside of greasy kids' skin—which has this way of turning into greasy adult skin—is that it doesn't wrinkle much. 'Course the downside is that I still can still break out like a teen—but the skin between the bumps: fabulous.

Well, whether our bete noire is blemishes, wrinkles or splotches, we battled them with

$7.8 billion worth of skincare products last year.

"Every time a new soap comes out, I think, 'This is going to be the one,' " says my fellow adult-acne sufferer Dianne. "If it's citrus-based, I think, 'Yes! I need the cleansing action of pure lemon!' When that doesn't work, I'll have the same hope for, say, an oatmeal soap: the mealy goodness of oats!"

Ah, yes, hope. Surely that's the main ingredient in any skincare item. Indeed, a moisturizer actually named Hope in a Jar made Oprah's Favorite Things list. Twice.

"Hope those wrinkles away," Lady O's Web site says.

"Where there's hope, there can be faith. Where there's faith, miracles can occur," notes the product's label. Can we get an amen from the complexion choir?

I have another friend who, as befits a proper adult (and attorney, no less), has long left her zit-zapping days behind, and swears by Crème de la Mer for its hydrating and skin-tone-evening properties. La Mer, as you may know, is the approximately $100-an-ounce brainchild of a NASA aerospace physicist who created it to treat his own rocket-fuel burns.

When I express my skepticism to this particular pal about the need to pay so much for a face cream, she remains resolved that it has properties unparalleled in lower-priced spreads, noting it cleared up a colleague's inflammation within hours.

Never mind my $5 OTC cortisone cream can do that, too. The space-age backstory and the special formulation speak to her—and, in all fairness, it works for her, so God bless. Here's what works for me: Jergens soap, four bars for $1.99. Diamond Crystal salt (mixed with water to form an exfoliating paste): 79 cents. Liquimat: $12.99. Knowing I'm getting a steal on skin care: priceless.

Interestingly, Clinique, which makes an excellent soap that I used until I discovered Jergens, is now very much in the news. The upscale skincare giant and an anonymous donor financed the new Clinique Skin Wellness Center at the prestigious Weill Medical College of Cornell University in New York.

"We are not in the beauty business," emphasized a Weill top doc, promising a church-and-state separation between the center's medical business and any perceived cosmetic connections.

Actually, he shouldn't worry too much. Nonceleb doctors aren't the "deciders" that much these days. Moonbeams, miracles and the celebrities who help us keep hope alive hold out the promise for more.

In the meantime, I've discovered, a good cover-up can sustain you for decades.



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