What Do You Expect?

    This week, I’ve been writing about Christopher Novak’s book, Conquering Adversity. This seems as good a time as any to talk about adversity but especially so as we try to understand what happened in Blacksburg, VA. In his book Novak presents six strategies intended to help us move through tough times. Of course a tough time can range from a project gone bad to a sudden layoff to the unthinkable. You want time to stand still and if you don’t, it sure does seem as if it has. But the minutes go by and one day turns into the next and life does eventually go on. This is what Novak writes about. And he writes about it with eloquence, heart, and intellect.
    I’ve talked some about the first two strategies: affirmation and expectation. Today, I’ll share what he says about communication and locomotion. One the things I admire about Novak’s writing is his courage. I don’t read about business people communicating with their hearts very often yet that’s one of Novak’s advice when it comes to Strategy Three. First, he says we must communicate with our hearts. Then he tells us to communicate now. We shouldn’t wait. Finally, he recommends that we enlist the help of others. Such simple pieces of advice yet how often do we veer away from our hearts? And how many times have you put off expressing yourself only to find the opportunity never arises again? And are there any among us who don’t at one time or another feel conflicted about asking for help?
    All those self-help books tell us over and over again that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but frequently we’re worried about how we’ll look if we can’t do it all ourselves. I could tell you stories! I hate being indebted to people and what I’ve learned over the years, in my personal life and my work life, is that most times, when people do you a favor or help out or step in they’re not expecting you to do something in return, at least not immediately. It’s that pay it forward philosophy—you may never get to reciprocate with the person who’s helped you, but surely you can pass on one person’s good deed to someone else.
    Next time: I think I can, I think I can, I think I can . . .