Smart Teacher Talks

It's time for a scheduled parent-teacher conference. Are you ready? So many working parents show up rushed, stressed and unprepared for face time with the teacher-not to mention that scheduled meetings are often a scant ten minutes.

Research shows that a triad of learning-the student at the

top and the parent and teacher making up the base of support-influences student performance and achievement, says Ronald Dietel, EdD, an assistant director of UCLA's National Center for Research on Evaluation, Standards, and Student Testing and author of Get Smart! Nine Sure Ways to Help Your Child Succeed in School. To maximize learning, the parent-teacher base should be aligned, and conversation is a crucial part of that. "You may feel anxious about talking to the teacher, but you're not the only one with butterflies," Dr. Dietel says. Many teachers receive little to no training on relating to parents. But there are several things you can do to get the most out of these talks.

First, do your homework. "Review your child's recent test scores and report cards to give you some data from which to draw," recommends Dr. Dietel. And ask your child about her teacher-what she's like, how they relate and so on. Consider a simple introduction prior to the meeting, even by phone or email, to ease tension and save time during an already short conference.

Then put in the time/Being prompt and focused sends a message to the teacher that you are an involved and active parent, which sets the stage for alliance building. And don't forget to speak up. "The teacher will often have a fairly standard spiel, but make sure you talk, too," says Dr. Dietel. Yes, show interest in reviewing state standards and curriculum, but also talk about your perception of your child's strengths, challenges and needs. Be ready with questions ahead of time: Does she raise her hand in class? Does she usually pay attention, or is she easily distracted? The teacher will appreciate the specifics and your interest in your child's classroom behavior.

If you hear that your child is misbehaving or not completing her work, try not to be too defensive. And don't hesitate to ask to meet with the teacher between scheduled conferences. The best way to work through a problem is with the teacher-not against her. Ask questions calmly and with concern, and suggest possible solutions. You are your child's first educator and most passionate advocate. Her teacher is the other educator in her life, the person you need to trust to help you teach her. Each time you talk together about your child, you both must make her unique abilities and needs the heart of the conversation. -Laura Platino