Turning Success into a Habit

You've got to be before you can do and do before you can have. In short, you have to be a person of character and do the right things, and then you can have the

To make the "be, do, have" theory valid, believable, and usable, look at some examples in your own life:

1. Take a sheet of paper and draw two vertical lines to make three columns.

2. At the top of the left-hand column, write Be; in the middle column, write Do; and over the last column, write Have.

3. In the right-hand column, list all the things that you really want in life, whether it's an education, good family relationships, a beautiful new home, a luxury car, a trip around the world, better health — you name it.

4. Work your way down the center column of the page, identifying the things that you have to do in order to have the things listed in the right-hand column.

Say that you want a successful marriage. To do so, you must be willing to share your innermost thoughts and concerns with your mate. You must carry more than your share of the workload, encourage your mate when he or she is down, and defend your mate against criticism. You need to remember special occasions (which go beyond birthdays, Valentine's Day, and anniversaries). Be particularly helpful when your mate is having a "down day," is not feeling well, or has had a tough time on the job. Apply the philosophy that "you can have everything that you want out of this marriage if you just help your mate get what he or she wants." Everybody's list varies, because each of us has unique needs, however the formula remains the same.