On a lighter side with Andy Rooney.

Several times in the past five years, I've had some medical attention from doctors like ophthalmologists, orthopedists and cardiologists, or semi-doctors like podiatrists, optometrists and chiropractors. In each case, I've showed my card from United Healthcare, with whom I am insured as a CBS

Several months ago, I had a bad toenail and chose a "podiatrist" from the yellow pages. The man seemed competent and after he worked on my foot, I put on my shoes and stopped at the front desk. The woman there said, "Your part, the co-pay, is $35." That seemed about right for what the podiatrist did, so I paid.

The woman's "Your part" rang in my ears, though, and I said, "How much was the other part?" She shuffled through her papers and said, "Your insurance provider pays $475." This was for 10 minutes' work on a toenail.

Something is seriously wrong with our health care system. It's an institutional rip-off. A General Motors official said this week that health-care benefits for employees were adding $1,500 to the cost of every car. It's wrong because the money has little to do with our health, and it isn't the doctors or the nurses who are benefitting.

Last month, I came to the office one day and didn't feel good. By noon, I felt worse, so I called my doctor and went to the hospital where he has an office.

He checked me over, poking in all the old familiar places, and couldn't find anything wrong. However, but he was apprehensive about a possible heart problem and said it would be a good idea if he admitted me to the hospital overnight.

I had a room with just one bed and was impressed by the attention I got. You can't tell who's a nurse in a hospital anymore. Nurses used to wear cute little hats but they don't anymore so you don't know who's a nurse and who isn't. And everyone wears a stethoscope. They used to be doctors, but now even the people who empty the wastebaskets wear stethoscopes.

From early on to all night long people kept coming in to take things. They took my temperature, my blood pressure, blood samples, urine samples, and they kept hitting me on the knee with that little rubber hammer. At one point, when one of them started to take my blood pressure by wrapping my arm in the elastic bandage, I said, "Someone just did that five minutes ago."