Witness to history: U.S. reclaims wiener-wolfin' title.(Adages)

Byline: Ken Wheaton

We here at Adages take Independence Day very seriously. We eat lots of charred meat, drink domestic beer, shoot off illegal fireworks and sing "The Star-Spangled Banner'' loudly and off-key at least once.

We also try to watch the Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Contest on ESPN. This year, however, a higher duty called your senior Adages correspondent: the "Transformers'' movie. We'd like to say it was part of some hard-hitting Madison & Vine research into GM's product-placement, but really, we just wanted to see Opti