My introduction to Murky Coffee began with an article in our Sunday paper. It shared some details of the most unusual coffee-shop-customer-service tale I've ever heard.

It started when a customer ordered an espresso over ice. This is not an uncommon request in coffee shops, especially in the summer. But there are some "purist" coffee shops that have policies against serving such a concoction. The basis for their refusal is typically that it degrades the drink. They might compare it to putting ketchup on a high quality sirloin steak. In certain circles, it's something you just don't do.

But, more than an occasional customer requests this and other "off menu" drinks at Murky Coffee. And, according to reviews on Yelp.com many of them are treated with a big dose of attitude and rudeness when they make such a request.

One of these customers persisted and insisted he get what he wanted. What he got was a lame alternative and a scolding. The policy-following barista let him know in no uncertain terms that ordering an espresso over ice was "Not Okay". Being suitably irritated, this customer blogged about it later. To be fair to the Murky Coffee crew, this blogging customer did let off a lot of vulgar steam in his blog posting and in the coffee shop. He crossed a line and then kept going.

However, that does not excuse the owner's response.

The right thing to do would have been to either a) ignore the posting or b) respond professionally by apologizing that he did not have a good experience, acknowledging the customer's concerns and complaints and thanking him for his patronage and his feedback. Then let it go.

But the owner chose his own path. He chose to fire back at this customer. He even threatened him with bodily harm if the customer ever came back to his store. (Again, in fairness, he was responding to a threat made against him by the blogging customer. Both "threats" were offered in anger and appear to be more venting and posturing than actual threats.)

They both got their 15 seconds of Internet fame. It even led to coverage in some big city newspapers. But in the end it did more damage than good. Both wound up looking like hot-heads who can't control themselves. And The coffee shop owner missed a huge opportunity to look like a good guy, someone who really cares about his customers. (Note: After the storm passed, they each expressed regret for their actions but I didn't see an apology from either.)

You might say the coffee shop owner was wrong to not offer the customer his drink however he wanted. I would agree. If you have a steady flow of customers who want iced espresso (and there are no health or legal reasons why you shouldn't offer it) then you should serve them their iced espressos. But I would also acknowledge the coffee shop has a right to NOT serve this drink, if they choose. Remember, he has the right to make decisions that drive away some customers.

I see their "no iced espresso" policy as the little problem. The big problem was how they executed that policy.

You don't enforce your policies by scolding or berating your customers. And then, when your customer requests an alternative that gives him what he wants (or at least something close) and is not in violation of your policy, you don't give it to him grudgingly and with comments about how it's "not okay".

Okay, we've covered the little problem and the big problem in this store's customer service. Let's wrap up by addressing the HUGE problem.

This one is easy: "Don't fight with your customers." Don't argue, don't debate, don't scold, don't berate. Don't trade flaming blog posts (or anything else that's flaming). Just don't do it!

The final lesson here is if you want a growing, healthy business, focus on what your customers want not just what you want.

The classic example of this comes from the Seinfeld Show's "Soup Nazi" where they take this attitude to an extreme. It's funny because it's extreme and it's part of a comedy show. It's also funny because we know there are people like the "Soup Nazi" in every city. Most of us have dealt with them before. I talk about them in my articles, book and seminars. They are a part of our culture. And that might never change.

But that doesn't mean any of us have to be those people. And if we want a happy and profitable business then we should take note and learn from them. They show us what not to do to keep our customers coming back.

Note on the Customer's Role in Customer Service

Never underestimate the power of being nice. Had the customer described above responded with kindness and tolerance, none of this would have happened. Even more important, he had an obligation to respond with civility. There is almost never a reason to treat another person badly, no matter how strongly you feel your rights as a customer rights have been trashed. I have consistently found that being nice, being courteous and generally treating servers well creates an opportunity for me to received better service.