Marrying Your Personal Finances

When you're single, you usually only hurt yourself when you are irresponsible with your own money. It is a different issue, however, once you enter into a partnership -- especially if one of the partners is thrifty and the other is a spendthrift.

Arguments over money have broken up marriages in the past, and they will do so again in the future. Credit cards often make the problem even worse.

When entering a close relationship it's safe to assume that both partners will bring their own bank accounts into the new arrangement. But now there's a different dynamic in play. Many bills, including rent or mortgage payments, utility bills, and groceries, are a shared responsibility.

Saving money should also be a shared responsibility. One partner can't carry the burden of putting money away for a rainy day while the other partner continues to spend every penny he or she earns.

Shared Finances: One Size Does Not Fit All

Some people find it easy to come to a workable agreement. For other couples, it's not so simple. There are some solutions, however, that allow both partners to share responsibility and build a trusting financial relationship over time. One such method involves three equally important steps:

• Both partners retain their own bank accounts along with their own credit cards or debit cards.
• Open a separate, joint account for managing day-to-day household expenses. 
• Open a joint savings account to put aside money for vactaions or major purchase such as a house or car.

This method allows both partners to put an agreed-upon amount of money into a joint account to cover everyday expenses and monthly bills. This account could also have a debit card attached to it to allow for things like grocery purchases and car expenses.

The individual accounts are each partner's personal responsibility. Simply agree that the money in these accounts stays "off the books" -- although if one partner overspends or overdraws his or her account, the other one isn't obligated to bail them out.

Just remember that a joint savings account is also an important part of this plan -- a way to work together to plan for the future and set long-term goals.

The Challenge of the Single-Income Family 

If only one partner works it is often best to place all of that income into a single, shared account. Then agree how much each partner can spend for his or her own use, versus how much will be used for shared expenses. 

Another way to do this would be for each couple to put their monthly "allowance" into separate individual accounts from which they can pay for their own credit cards if they wish. Another account should be opened for joint savings.

There is no right way or wrong way to arrange finances between couples. The main thing is that both persons are happy with the arrangement and that the system works. What should be avoided at all costs, however, is one member of the partnership is being denied funds while the other has complete freedom to spend how he or she wishes. Nobody wants to take away another person’s freedom -- and that includes their financial freedom.

If one of the partners is totally irresponsible regarding money management, and you can't find a workable arrangement, you have no choice but to seek professional help. These cases, however, are the exception.

Relationships are Built on Trust, Honesty and Open Communication

In order to build a relationship that is strong and durable, both partners in a relationship need to exercise trust, open communication, and honesty with each other. Without these three attributes it will be very difficult to work together as a team in an effort to reach common goals.

There is no system that works for everybody, and it doesn't matter what other couples think or do themselves. What does matter is that you find something that works for you and your partner -- and that neither of you let your credit card spending get out of control.

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This article was written by Timothy Ng. You can read more of his work at http://www.creditcardfinder.com.au/ where he has a number of comprehensive guides to all types of creditcards.