Just desserts

Love Me Slender Animal rights activist group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has been promoting vegetarianism with a roadshow featuring a fat, bloated Elvis impersonator. The message: vegetarianism helps keep you from becoming a real big hunka burnin' love.

But suspicious

"This promotes the idea that it's shameful to be fat," spokesperson Jeanette DePatie told the Washington Times. "I think they are just preying on people's fears of getting fat for the sake of their agenda." (Well, duh...)

PETA responds by-get this-bemoaning the pervasiveness of political correctness in the culture! "Nothing is acceptable to mention anymore," a PETA spokesperson laments. "Why, if we used a bunch of svelte models in our campaigns, I'd hear from all the feminists about it."

Lost in the rat-a-tat-tat between the groups is the question of how exactly Elvis illustrates the perils of meat eating. After all, the King's most famous repast consisted of very vegetarian-sounding-if not exactly low-fat-fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches.